Open Letter to the Birth Mother of “Our” Daughter

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To the Birth-Mother of our (yours and mine) daughter,

I am the adoptive mom of our five year old daughter. She came to my arms when she was eight months old. She came into my heart, the very first second I saw her. It was literally love at first sight. First and foremost, please know that the baby you gave birth to, is safe, loved, and treasured. She is the greatest gift I could ever imagine and I am thankful every single moment to you. If it wasn’t for your courageous choice, I know my life would never hold the joy and love it does today.

As I watch her grow and see her personality develop, her skills and amazing talents emerge, I wonder what you are like. We’ve never met and I don’t know anything about you – except what you have passed on to my daughter. Because much of who she is, is biologically inherited, I know that you must be something like her. For this reason, I’m guessing that you are beautiful, kind, smart, and fun. Your daughter is all those things and more.

I want her to know that you made a difficult, unbelievably brave decision, when you decided first to give her life, and second to let her go to another family. I can’t imagine how hard it was, and still is, to this day. It saddens me to think that she might not be here today, if you had chosen abortion. The world will be a better place because of this child. She is truly incredible. And you had enough love for her that you let her go.

I will never find the words to express my gratitude to you. The only gift I can give you in return, is to love our daughter with all my heart. To give her the best of myself, the best I can give. And I can give you a promise, that she will be loved, treasured, and cared for to the best of my ability. I hug her and tell her every day that I will love her always and forever – I wish I could do the same for you. I wish I could hug you and tell you I will be grateful – always and forever.

Adoptive-mothers and birth-mothers have an unusual bond. Realistically, there are things I will never know or share with my daughter that you have and do. There are things you will never know or share with her, that I am so blessed to have and do. But we can never be jealous of each other, because of all things, we share the most important thing of all, we both want the best for this beautiful child.

Please feel my hug and my heartfelt thanks. Please feel the peace of knowing that your child, our child, is loved and safe and happy. Thank you.


  1. 1
    Deborah in Atlanta says:

    Beautifully said.

  2. 2

    Lovely – brought tears to my eyes.

  3. 3

    What a beautiful, heartfelt letter!! She is awesome for making the sacrifice to give her daughter a better life, and you are a gem for acknowledging her for it!! :)
    Tree recently posted..Let’s Get Social Blog Hoppin’ (6/26)

  4. 4
    royalegacy says:

    How wonderful it was that the birth mother didn’t kill her baby through abortion, and gave you the opportunity to have and love a child. God bless her, and you, and your family.

  5. 5

    This is truly beautiful. As a birth-mother, reading this brings innumerable and unnameable emotions and thoughts to my heart and mind.
    Your love, appreciation, and gratitude are amazing. I hope, someday, that the birth-mother in your life gets to read this…
    Melissa (Mo) recently posted..A new week-a new start and some new questions for YOU!

  6. 6

    beautiful thoughts. as a mom, i got all choked up.
    anna c recently posted..NeoStrata CoverBlend Multi-Function Concealer SPF 15: A Review and Giveaway

  7. 7

    Beautiful post
    Sara recently posted..Princess of Glass

  8. 8

    Absolutely beautiful! :)

  9. 9

    Stumbled! My post is

    I can’t imagine what it must feel like to give up a child, or what it must feel like to be given the gift of a child from another mother. It’s an amazing thing for you to open your arms to a child that isn’t your own.

    Jamie @
    Jamie (Mama.Mommy.Mom) recently posted..Wonder Wednesday Blog Hop!

  10. 10

    Thank you for that heartfelt post. We have a birth mother in our family. When she gave birth she asked me to be at the hospital to take photos of her and her son. I did and made an album for her. I know her heart breaks a little every day and sometimes I have to remind her how much her adoptive family loves him. She chose them and they did meet. She placed her son in their arms on his third day of life and they took him home. At the time that he was born she would not have been able to care for him and give him the wonderful family life that they can. I know it brings a little happiness and peace everytime a birth mother sees something like this.
    Some Lucky Dog recently posted..Great Sweeps at Sweeps4Bloggers

  11. 11

    Thank you for sharing..what a beautiful post.

  12. 12

    What a beautiful post and she is one lucky little girl:)
    Sonya – Belly Charms recently posted..Wordless Wednesday – Vacation vs. Reality

  13. 13

    This is beautiful. Not only is that little girl lucky to be here, and lucky to have you as her mother, but she’s lucky that there’s someone else out there who loved her enough to give her to a family that would love her as their very own.

    I can’t even imagine the courage it took to write this, but you are a beautiful person for doing so. I pray this message gets to the person it’s intended for. Not just the birth mother of your precious baby, but those who need to know that the choices they made in the past can have a happy ending.

    Bless you
    Christine Senter recently posted..Blog Bash 2011

  14. 14

    Love it ~ anyone that is considering putting their child up for adoption should read this.
    JulsB20 recently posted..Save $1.00/1 Skittles, Starburst or Life Savers Gummies

  15. 15

    I love your post. It’s beautifully said. Your daughter is lucky to have you..

    Stumbled here, my post is
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