“I think more all the time that it looks hard, that looks like something I am not ready for and doesn’t interest me at this point.  Danica Patrick, IndyCar Driver
Danica Patrick, is frequently in the news for her success as an race car driver, or her exploits as a sexy, powerful, female spokesperson. At the same time as she was breaking speed records, she was breaking stereotypes of female athletes. With the triple crown of talent, beauty, and brains, Danica is well known to fans on and off the track.
In a recent interview, that I read on Yahoo.com, Danica answered a very personal question about whether motherhood was in her future with a lengthy, controversial reply.
Danica grew up in the Midwest, born in Wisconsin, growing up in Illinois and Wisconsin. Born in 1982, she first competed in the Indianapolis 500 in 2005 at just 23 years old. She was the fourth woman to race there. She is married to Paul Hospenthal, who she met when he was assigned as her physical therapist. They’ve been married for 6 years. The press took on the role the pesky mother-in-law asking the questions, “When are you going to have a baby?”.
Part of me understands Danica’s position, it is a personal question and it’s frustrating to be asked repeatedly, “When? When? When?”. There is a tendency to react strongly when you finally do answer. Did that ever happen to you? Sean and I took the “if it happens, it happens” road, and when it didn’t, we accepted that until we discovered that adoption was a possibility. But we did endure years of “When? When? When?” questions.
Usual responses to the question of children, tend to be yes, or maybe someday. Rarely do you hear a flat-out “no”. Even more rare is it to hear a totally self-centered response like Danica’s. What do you think? Is it okay to put yourself first, to that degree? I have to admit, it angered me a bit to here her say,
“I am not someone who has a strong yearning for kids at all,†she told USA Today. “I see all my friends with kids. I will get up at 10 a.m. and text them and they’ll say ‘Ha, funny. One of my sons was in my room at 5.30 in the morning so I can’t say I slept until 10.’ That’s just their life.
But is it a bit of envy and jealousy? Do I resent the “attitude” I hear in her statements and envy her for being young, successful and okay, I admit 100 lbs. The woman is just too gorgeous. Her profile on her website says, she’s married, has a schnauzer and loves to shop. Shallow? Or fun? What do you think?
On a funny note, Danica has received two speeding tickets in Scottsdale, Arizona, where she lives with her husband. Obviously she has no pull with local police because the first ticket was for driving 57 mph in a 40 mph zone. Not that bad (*blush* done that). Her punishment? Hehehe, she was ordered to attend traffic school! The second ticket was worse – she deserved this one more – 54 mph in a 35 mph zone. That time she had to pay $196 in fines. I wonder what her insurance rates are? Ouch, more than mine, I’m just guessin’.
I do not think that it’s fair to judge her on whether or not she wants to have kids. It’s her life, so why can’t she be selfish about it? At least she doesn’t have 5 kids who she ignores, ya know? It’s better to know that she doesn’t want them now. I feel the same way about my life. I know I don’t want kids because it’s a huge responsibility that I am not ready for and do not want. No one HAS to have children, and in my opinion, it’s okay to not want them.
I don’t mean to offend, this is just something I’m passionate about. Just my opinion! :o)
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Good point, most definitely better than neglecting a child you didn’t want!
I’m totally fine with her not wanting kids. It’s her life and if she doesn’t feel that motherly instinct then why should she have them? Maybe she’s really trying and it isn’t happening and her response is a mask to hide her sadness. Who knows?
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Kudos to her for her honesty! Her acknowledging that it is hard work and something she feels she’s not ready for is truthful and realistic. Not everyone is equipped for parenthood. And I don’t think people who prefer childlessness are necessarily selfish. It’s great that she knows what parenthood entails and if she feels she’s not ready nor interested in it, then it should be left at that. And yes, I believe it’s perfectly acceptable to put ourselves first, perhaps even necessary. After all, what is there to give to others if you are empty yourself and never learned to give TO your self?
It’s ok to not want children. I know a lot of people that are making that choice the last few years. I didn’t want children for most of my life.
There could be many reasons that we don’t immediately consider when someone says they don’t want kids. Maybe there is a genetic issue, maybe they can’t and don’t want to explain that, they have a ‘riskier’ career, or maybe they can’t see themself as a parent or want to be one.
Another thing that gets me is that I’m 37 and childless, and I get bugged all the time with comments like:
Where are your kids? Don’t you want any?
You can adopt, you know?
You must be one of those people that put their career first.
You are going to be old and lonely.
You are selfish.
It must be nice not to have many responsibilities and just do what you want without a care in the world.
UM EXCUSE ME?!!
Being older, and having accomplished many of my goals, I’d love to have a kid now. It took me a long time to change my mind though, and sometimes when my niece has a tantrum I think people are crazy for having kids! LOL
What holds me back from being a parent? I had a medical issue a few years back, and the gynecologist says my chances are much lower. The relationships that I have had haven’t worked out. I am not financially able to adopt or get inseminated. I don’t want to do it alone either, and would like a partner around to help raise our child.
Sometimes life doesn’t turn out the way we want, or sometimes we want a different life than the norm. It’s ok either way I think. :)
Oh no, did someone actually say, “it must be nice not to have responsibilities….”? Yikes!
I always liked that saying “Bloom Where You’re Planted”. Similar to what you said, we can make the most of what we’ve got.
Yes. Some people eh? LOL
I do have to say this though. When I take my niece out, and people think she’s my daughter, I just glow. LOL. She holds my face in her hands, looks me right in the eye, and says’ I love you Auntie’. It makes me feel like I’m the most special person in the world. I can live with that! :)
How cool!! What a sweetie!! Sounds like you are the most special in the world :)
My first thoughts are two other women in powerful positions who have chosen not to have kids: Oprah and Rachel Ray. I think if they realize having kids isn’t for them, then it’s better for everyone involved. I think as moms we see it through rose colored glasses because we love our kids. We can’t see how they could be so straight forward and “selfish”. I think we can agree that sleeping in until 10am, jetting off here or there, not having to find a babysitter to go out to eat with our spouse, etc would be a delightful thing to have whenever we wanted. That’s just not for us, for now. One day we’ll be able to do those things. My boys are old enough that I CAN sleep in (amongst the weekend arguing). I don’t usually have to get a babysitter anymore (because I have no life aside from work). Who knows, one day, when they’re past the stage of having kids and realize that they don’t have more than themselves, they’ll be wishing they were in our shoes. We have so much to look forward to as our kids get older!
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“We have so much to look forward to as our kids get older!” I just wish I wasn’t getting older at the same time they were *wink*.